


Fuck Shack on Cloud 9

by BBPlaid



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Alien Sex, Arson, Attempted Murder, Breeding, Future Mpreg, Graphic Depictions of Space, Homelessness, Identity Swap, Kingdom Hearts Bullshit, M/M, Miscarriage (Mentioned), Mommy Issues, Mother Complex, Murder, Past Relationship(s), Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post Mpreg, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Property Damage, RIP Sephiroth's hair, Sephiroth doesn't use conditioner, So is Cloud, Successful murder, Supernatural connection, Sword Fighting, Time Travel, Violence, booty claps, fountain bathing, hair fucking, his hair is weeping, poor hair regimine, sexual sword play, the Greek letter χ
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:21:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27790672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BBPlaid/pseuds/BBPlaid
Summary: After months apart, Cloud and Sephiroth meet up for one last hurrah in Hollow Bastian...
Relationships: Cloud/Sephiroth (Kingdom Hearts), Sephiroth/Cloud Strife
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9





	Fuck Shack on Cloud 9

**Author's Note:**

> Several months ago, a friend and I got kicked out of a NSFW Kingdom Hearts mpreg RP Discord server for 'god modding' and incorporating aspects of Cloud and Sephiroth's characters that weren't present in KH. Fortunately, before we were banned, I copied the entire conversation into a Word Document because we were that proud of it.  
> Months later, we are still very proud of it.
> 
> He is Cloud.  
> I am Sephiroth.
> 
> At the time this was written, neither of us understood any of Kingdom Hearts, FFVII: Remake wasn't out yet, and Covid hadn't gone world-wide.
> 
> It was a different time.  
> A simpler time.  
> Enjoy our masterpiece.

"Cloud."

Sephiroth enters his ex's house in Radiant Garden, stabbing the door with his over-sized sword, muskamune. Depression seeps through his eyes, not in the form of tears, but, rather, blood. He wipes the blood away. He sits on the carpet and takes out a bag of blue popsicles. He shoves five of them into his mouth at once and sob-growls.

"I can't believe you left me.... and took the kid...."

"Sephiroth..." Cloud almost whispered as he swings his legs over the side of his bed and struggles to his feet as he looks towards Sephiroth’s presence while avoiding his gaze. "I haven't heard your voice in so long..." he said almost in a trance "my baby... our baby... I-I'm sorry I left, I had to, you wouldn't understand..." he droned.

"Hm," Sephiroth grunts, seemingly emotionless. "I don't remember ever sleeping with you, Cloud. Is that even my child?" He deep-throats the rest of the popcicles sexily (it's not intentional, he's just naturally that hot XD)

"Don't keep me waiting. _Answer me, Cloud._ Is that my child?!"

"T-they were..." Cloud almost whimpered at the sound of Seph's Scream. "They would have been," Cloud said, looking up to see Sephiroth Slobbering over his delicious, delectable sky-blue popsicle "I-if only..."

"If only what?" Sephiroth purrs.

"Sephiroth... the baby, our baby…" Cloud paused and closed his eyes with tears welling up behind his eyelids. "They...." Cloud fell to his knees close to sobbing "They d-didn’t make it…."

(dun dun _dun_ )

"The Doctor said the baby had an abnormality. He said he wanted to watch over me and the baby to make sure they would be healthy..." Cloud, still on his knees, wiped tears from his eyes. "That's w-why I had to leave."

Cloud continues to let tear drops fall onto the now visibly dusty floor.

Sephiroth closes his eyes. He opens them again. His green eyes burn with rage.

"What?" He hisses, brandishing his sword. He then composes himself. The usual smirk fills his features. "You mean to tell me that my child--our child, died? Don't joke, Cloud."

"Why would I lie!?" Cloud's voice cracked. "They were MY CHILD!"

Sephiroth, not good at comforting others, leaves.

"I will return, Cloud, when you are no longer a pitiful mess."

"Please...Don't leave me" Cloud said, longingly staring at the dripping half-bitten popsicle in Seph’s hand.

It's too late. Sephiroth has already teleported away in a flurry of feathers and darkness...

Two minutes later, Sephiroth returns. He is not wearing pants. his coat wings cover his impressive (erect) donger like a heavenly censor bar.

"Sephiroth..." Cloud starts. "You came back... I knew you would….”

He pauses. “Did you bring me, anything?"

Cloud looks down at Sephiroths Toned, Trouserless Legs.

"I see you have…" Cloud said, biting his lower lip.

"Cloud~" Sephiroth mews, appreciatively eyeing his partner. "I bought fertility pills, some Xanax, and twenty energy drinks. Let's, as Mother would say, infest this planet with our beautiful spawn."

"Mmmmm... Let’s." Cloud moaned.

Sephiroth's little sex stick grows harder, like it always does when he's thinking about his mother (but not in an incest way-- he just really likes the idea of moms as a concept.)

Cloud Sexily takes off his comically-oversized shoulder pads and 37 belts holding up his coat and shirt but struggles to take off the belt actually holding up his pants.

"Stupid belt..."

Sephiroth slices through Cloud's belt with his sword, before shucking his own ridiculous coat, struggling to get it over his wing for a few minutes, but, eventually, succeeding. He's standing in nothing but his boots and bunch of waist-belts, but he doesn't take those off because leather is IN this season and everybody loves a man in knee-high boots

"I see you remembered I love you in those knee-highs, you naughty boy.”

"Naturally," Sephiroth says, pouring the essence of darkness over his well-toned abs. Like some kind of savage, he downs the entire bottle of fertility pills with nothing but his own saliva.

"Mmmm _yes._ Pour that Essence. I love it when you're nice and Slick and covered in..."

" **Darkness** " a muffled but recognizable voice screamed from outside of Cloud’s door.

"Come, Cloud. Or should I say, 'cum', Cloud. Preferably inside of me," Sephiroth orders, ignoring the foreboding foreshadowing outside their abode. He leans into Cloud and whispers, directly in his ear-- "Make me Mother~"

Sephiroth slaps his own penis persuasively, displaying the way it jiggles with juices that need releasing. His mangina is slick and drenched in dirty dew, just waiting to be drowned in dirty dick dew

"Gladly." Cloud said as he grabbed Sephiroth by the shoulders and threw him onto his cheap IKEA mattress and frame (bought on sale for the low price of only 7,000 gil.)

Sephiroth weighs about 300lbs of pure muscle, and Cloud has one hell of a throwing arm. The bedframe breaks, Sephiroth landing in a moaning, murderous heap at Cloud's small, albeit gorgeously polished, feet. "Nice toenails. The blue reminds me of the second time I stabbed you."

"Tee-hee~" Cloud giggled. "I got them done just for you, sweety."

Cloud reached down and took a hold of Sephiroth's _blade_ and cradled it with his hand.

"You're always so sweaty; you'd think someone as elegant as you wouldn't be this disgustingly moist." Cloud slowly brought Sephiroth’s **blade** closer to his abs as he massaged it.

"You're leaving yourself open," Sephiroth growl-moaned. He's both a powerbottom and a diva, and NOBODY is allowed to forget that. With a moan and a thrust, he removes his own foreskin with Masamune, somehow not cutting Cloud, and then sheathes his larger blade. In that same, fluid motion, he shoves his sheathed sword into Cloud's formally fertile kid canal.

"Hrrrngngng" Cloud ground out. "Damn you sephiroth...how many times have I let you _penetrate_ me like this?"

The sensation of Cloud touching his sex cannon was a lot before, but it's even more without his foreskin. Cloud sounding pained is Sexy Sephy's biggest kink and he lets out an animalistic scream as his hair turns into radioactive tentacles that fondle the smaller man's erect and anxious anus.

_"Cloud."_ Sephiroth hisses. "Weren't you supposed to be filling _me.?_

"Hrnng, this habit of yours is getting old," Cloud gasped as he grasped one of Seph’s many belts and brought himself closer down onto him, slowly planting his feet on the ground to gain leverage. "I have my own tricks, too."

Cloud moaned loudly as he Swung Sephiroth viciously out of his Boi Canal in a single motion and crashed into the wall behind his bed. Before Sephiroth could react, Cloud pounced and pinned him down using his own belts as fasteners to keep his lower body and legs beneath him. "This time, I won’t let you to run away.”

Cloud licked his lips.

"Tifa and Zack don't need saving this time, so now it's just you and me" His Massive Buster Sword pulsated while looking at Sephiroth’s almost delicate, yet firm pale buttocks.

Sephiroth's gorgeous grass-green eyes widen in surprise and... fear?

"I'm a virgin," he confessed softly. "All those times we had sex before-- I used a funnel. My pee-pee never touched your hoo-ha."

His pink, parched nipples suddenly begin spurting green-white fluid. His tentacle hair wraps Cloud in a hug-like embrace.

"No wonder you always felt so rough, I was afraid all of those plastic splinters were from something else, maybe that cheap Mexican restaurant around the corner," Cloud mused pensively. "I owe Julio an apology."

"My apologies," Sephiroth murmurs awkwardly. His nipples stop lactating, but his penis leaks with precum... or, as Cloud would call it, pre _yum_

"We can both apologize later" Cloud said, seeing Sephiroth begin to leak from his now circumcised 8-inch Muramasa.

"Now, why don’t I show you what being a mother feels like?" asked Cloud as he reached around and grabbed Sephiroth's still wet nipples and began to tug on them like a Chocobo chick does on a worm sticking out of the ground.

"Yes... Cloud...."

Before the insertation can truly commence, Sephiroth, nipples throb like the one obnoxious person's phone in a crowded movie theater. He emits a loud and heedy moan. The mako in his system boils over, giving him a mild fever. His hair tentacles fuck themselves on Cloud's ridiculous anime spikes. With a terrifying roar of arousal, Sephithot shoots his first massive load on Cloud's parched chest. The radioactive waste in his bloodstream causes his sperm to be a light green, and the toxins dissolve Cloud's skin almost as quickly as his healing can patch it up. Sephiroth cums for about twenty minutes straight, and then takes a dump on the bed.

Rather than just sitting there in his own toxic cesspool, Sephiroth, using his wing and the force of his own ejaculation to accelerate himself, busts through the wall of Cloud's house at 120mph, Cloud riding on his chest. They travel through space and also time for a little bit, continuing their passionate lovemaking in the skies.

The amount of property damage they do is immense. Nearly 350,000 gil worth of construction is destroyed, but Sephiroth cares naught for anything but Cloud inside of him.

Cloud, who is now racing at close to Mach 2 with Sephiroth into the upper atmosphere, can only clench his boy booty tightly to protect itself from the eventual heat from atmospheric escape he was sure would happen at any moment. But, before that could happen, Cloud's own meat Rocket-Splurged deep inside of his lover’s baby oven, ensuring that he was well fertilized no matter what their fate outside of Earth’s gravity might hold.

"YES, CLOUD!" Sephiroth screams, manic-horny. "THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT MOTHER WANTED!"

The soar past Olympus, causing Auron to die a third time, and then break the time-space continuum with their erratic thrusting. A drop of Sephiroth's flaming sweat falls onto an unsuspecting planet and torches the whole thing, causing a ten-year-old Xehanort to be the sole survivor of a tragic accident, leading to his lust for power. Cloud hits Sephiroth's G-spot, and they shoot back to the present.

"Sephiroth..." Cloud echoed one last time into his lover’s ear as his vision began to fade and the world around him began to warp into a Kaleidoscope of cum and time.

They plummet back to the realm of mortals, back to Cloud's bed. Was it a dream? Was it just a vision, witnessed in the throes of ecstasy? Perhaps. But one thing is certain:

"Sephiroth is my slave name," Sephiroth smirks. "While you were gone, Cloud, I became a χ-blade master. My new name is Phoχesith. It ends with 'sith' because I am full of darkness."

Sephiroth aka Phoχesith isn't being completely honest. He's only 50% full of darkness and 50% full of Cloud's seed.

" _How could you!_ " Cloud exclaimed, still leaking seed from his Man Buster Blade as he Struggled to get away from his once lover and Cumdump. Cloud reached for his _Actual_ buster sword, which was now covered in debris and spum from their re-entry.

Phoχesith reaches for his Masamune. It is pristine and clean as ever.

He impales Cloud on it, just for old times' sake.

"D-damn it... not again" Cloud gasped as the blade entered his body in an all too familiar way. Surprisingly, the sensation not only caused an immense amount of pain but also bypassed his refractory period and instantly made him shoot his hot and anger -filled load in a super-soaker spray all over Sephiroth and the entire living room behind him.

Cloud momentarily lost consciousness after his explosive semen evacuation, but now used said spum as a lubricant to shimmy his way down towards Sephiroth, powering through the Pain and Pleasure to do what he had done so many years ago, wondering in the back of his mind if he would have the strength to **YEET** Phoχesith the same way again.

Phoχesith, content with the results of their love making, giggles menacingly before teleporting away.

Cloud drops like a sad, empty sack of potatoes as Sephiroth and his blade vanish into the aether.

"Sephiroth..." Cloud said before passing out for the 100th time

SoraYesterday at 11:35 AM

(Really guys)

Now covered in that dank, dick dew, Sephiroth aka Phoχesith goes to bathe in a fountain. He lets the water wash over him, allows it to purify his abused back door, as he contemplates both his life and existence.

"What am I?" He mutters, filthy water drenching his hair. Using an entire bottle of 1 Gil bargain-bin strawberry shampoo, he lathers his scalp and contaminates the fountain. Sephiroth, being an ignorant shit who knows nothing of the Real World except paperwork, battles, and doctors' offices, doesn't know that using that much shampoo, regardless of hair length, does nothing but dry out the scalp and cause dandruff. What he needs an entire bottle of is conditioner, but, alas. Phoχesith is too busy having a post-sex breakdown.

"Am I even Phoχesith...?" He thinks aloud, washing under his pits twice. Thinking back on it leads him to wondering. Is Sephiroth even a χ-blade master? Has he even held a χ-blade before in his life? Hell, has he even owned a χ to anything? He doesn't have a house, and most certainty doesn't have the keys to Cloud's house. Strawberry shampoo gets in Sephiroth's eyes and he χurses.

Enough is enough. Dwelling on the inner workings of his being any longer will do nothing. Sephiroth gets out of the fountain. After roughly eight hours spent preening, fluffing and then drying his absurd amount of feathers, Sephiroth gets dressed and teleports away.

Cloud wakes up naked, crusty and smelling like a Chocobo's play pen. He struggles to his feet and towards what was left of his IKEA bed and mattress stepping in the splintered remains of his bedroom roof along the way. All the while, he’s only thinking of one thing... his Lover, his Enemy, Sephiroth or as he now claimed 'Phoχesith'. Honestly a pretty cool name, his subconscious thought. Cloud reached the bathroom door, which was blocked by shrapnel from his bed's headrest, and shoved the depris out of the way. He really needed to evacuate himself after being unconscious for who know how long.

Cloud, now in the bathroom, cleaned himself up a bit and did his business all the while worrying about what Phoχesith might be up to. His ass cheeks quake at the very thought that his frienemie might have gone bad again (also because Sephiroth had done a number on them previously and his butt was suffering systematic nervous shock at the simple thought of the gorgeous man.)

Suddenly, Cloud’s ass cheeks began to vibrate, seemingly resonating to a familiar presence, like pair of booty radar... this could only mean one thing...

Phoχesith was near.

Out of a portal of pitxh-black darkness, emotional turmoil, and angsty identity crisis emerges Sephiroth, Phoχesith or whatever he goes by these days. He smells faintly of strawberries and sewage. His murky swap-colored eyes are _clouded_ over with confusion.

"Who am I...?" He murmers. The confusion gives way to anger. "WHO AM I?"

After dumping an entire library's worth of Ansem the Wise's research notes onto Cloud's moldy carpet, Phoχesith sets the place ablaze.

Cloud, smells the faint, barf-inducing and almost sweet(?) scent of a porta-potty coming from outside his door. Moments later, smoke begins to bellow from beneath it. Still only half dressed after putting his pants up to dry, Cloud grabs his sword and bursts through the front door pants-less.

His ass cheeks begin to pick up tempo and volume as he gets up...

"He's close" Cloud thought telepathically.

The fire surrounds him, but Sephiroth stands in the middle of it, completely unphaχed by the heat. He tilts his head downwards, almost seductively, before raising his chin with a slight quirk of his lips. Then he waits one... two... three seconds before casually turning on his heel and fabulously strutting away like a model on a blazing catwalk.

Cloud turns around to see Sephiroth Sexily Strutting away.

"Sephiroth!" Cloud exclaims, raising his sword towards him.

χephiroth ignores him, in favor of cutting down Cloud's unsuspecting neighbors. Merlin is the first sacrificed to his blade and Yuffie... Yuffie didn't stand a chance, meeting her unfortunate end before her life had the chance to truly begin.

"If I can't have a house," Sephiroth states murderously, "Nobody can."

Cloud chases after Sephiroth, his ass clapping faster with every step towards the One Winged Angel. Cloud watches in horror as Sephiroth cuts down his friends and sets their homes ablaze.

"It doesn’t have to be this way, Sephiroth!" Cloud screams as he swings his Girthy Blade at Sephiroth's turned back.

"We could have bought you a mail-order home! Like a Lego home, but bigger!"

"No," says Sephiroth. "A mail order home isn't a real home! It's a temporary house! I want a home I can live in!" Whoops. There went Cid's head.

"Cid!"Cloud yelped. "Damn you... You didn’t even let him finish his Cidarette!"

Cloud swung his sword once more, barely missing Sephiroth's Beautiful and lean body.

Sephiroth casually jumped over Cloud's sword, which somehow resulted in him landing in the Hundred Acre Wood book. For the first time in a long time, Sephiroth cannot hear the familiar call of Mother screaming in the back of his head. Instead...

Gayishly cheerful music emits from seemingly every direction, and Sephiroth takes in his surroundings. Trees. Trees everywhere. It feels hometown-y. This wouldn't be a bad place to settle down.

"Oh, bother," Winnie the Pooh taps his head with a nubbed paw. "I don't suppose we've met before."

After seeing Sephiroth disappear into the book, Cloud jumps in after him, his Booty Radar guiding him.

He lands with a resounding _thud_ and groan onto what seems to be a pile of rather large sticks which snap under his weight. They smell faintly of leather, weed and depression.

Eeyore comes out from behind a nearby tree saying nothing more than "Just my luck I guess..." in his usual depressing manner.

"I don't think Mother ever really loved me," Sephiroth admitted wistfully, pushing Pooh on the swing. "And I was enough of a monster to let her turn me into one."

Nearly a day had passed, and something about Pooh's patience was oddly comforting. The former would-be conqueror found himself opening up to the silly old bear. Pooh jumps off the swing and does two complete 360 rotations before wobbly landing on his feet.

"What's important," the bear shuffles over, "Is what's in _here."_ He gestures to his chest. "I don't think you're as much as a monster as you think you are."

Sephiroth blinks at him.

"I burnt down an entire town, summoned a meteor, and tried to kill an entire planet."

"All this talking has me rumbly in my tumbly. How do you like your honey, Sephiroth?"

"I have murdered people in cold blood for nothing but my own twisted pleasure."

"Nothing a good meal," Pooh yawned, "And a good nap can't fix."


End file.
